Monday, April 14, 2008

How to get a Date and Laid successfully in the next month or two. Proven method Part II

How to get a Date and Laid successfully in the next month or two. Proven method Part II

"I saw you leaning up against the bar and...

Fill in the second blank about what you like about her.

...I have to say you have the prettiest hair I've ever seen."
...I have to say you have a really cool funky style that I dig."
...I have to say you look fantastic."
...I have to say you have the most dangerous walk I've ever seen on a girl."

Whatever you think. You can even find one compliment that you really like and always fill in the second blank with that.

"I saw you (doing what you're doing) and I have to say you look really beautiful."

If you want to get laid in the next 30-60 days, this opener will work. The fact is, it's harder to screw up than complicated, game-intense openers. If you've got the testosterone flowing from your workouts, tight cool clothing, you're smiling, and you've got interesting stuff going on in your life, this will work no problem.

The first part of what you're doing, btw, is pacing her, and it also makes you sound spontaneous since and very situationally relevant. The simple first part "I saw you..." is more important than the compliment.

Also I know a lot of guys can handle groups where they're bored and looking around, but can't handle groups where people are having lots of fun. Try this derivation of the above - "Hey, I saw y'all here laughing and cracking up - and I've gotta say, you guys look like the most fun group of people here." Remember, big smile. Then introduce yourself to everyone, chat for 5-10 minutes, leave for 5-10 minutes, and come back.

Actually, I'll explain what to right after opening... right now.

11. After opening, introduce yourself to everyone, chat for 5-10 minutes, leave for 5-10 minutes, and come back.

Just kidding. Well half-kidding. Here's the deal.

*Introduce yourself RIGHT AWAY, ALMOST ALWAYS. There's a lot of high-level advantages to not introducing yourself right away, especially on the compliance side. If you're out to start a cult, never introduce yourself. But if you want to get laid very soon, introduce yourself right away. The #1 thing this does is lets people know you enough that you'll get some respect later, instead of being "just another guy in the club". Put this way - You're far less likely to catch flak or disrespect if you're introduced to everyone, which makes things simpler and leads to more sex sooner, if your goal is to get real results in the near future.

*After you talk to people for a while, don't try to suck the life out of the group and stick like glue to them. But when you leave, it's VERY IMPORTANT that you don't say anything that sounds like a blowoff line. Most guys who aren't getting laid don't know how to leave without sounding like he's telling the girls to piss off, because whenever he's had girls leave they're often... well, you know.

So, when you leave, use something like this: "Hey, I'm going to go scout around for a while, but I'll catch you in a bit."

AVOID:

"nice meeting you"
"bathroom"
"get a drink"
"meet my friends"

Any of these are okay... sometimes... but avoiding them won't hurt you. The problem with those 4 things are they're commonly used blow-offs. There's a way to say any one of those, especially if it's true, but "scout around" is non-traditional so it won't sound like a blowoff, it's honest so they won't get freaked out if they see you walking around without looking for you if they really like you, AND THE GIRL WON'T WAIT FOR YOU AND FEEL DEJECTED WHEN YOU DON'T COME BACK. This actually happens more than you'd think, but girls are better at playing it off and won't bring it up like a guy will. So go off to scout around.

*When you come back, greet them like old friends. Don't say, "You again!" or anything like that. That makes you non-friends. Just walk up, like you would to friends, and say "What's happening". Or something along those lines - Very familiar, nonchalant.

The formula is simple if people are unfriendly or uncool. Don't come back to them. Still politely excuse yourself with "I'm going to go scout around a bit. Maybe I'll catch you in a bit."


12. Get compliance.

This is one of the most important steps. Do lots of this -

Push the envelope, make her work. Try to get her to do things for you. Simple things. "Here, hold this, I'll be right back" and hand her your drink. Go to the men's room. Come back. Retrieve your drink. Thank her for holding it.

Drink sips of her drink. Move her around the club to meet people. Have her introduce you to people. Et cetra. Make her DO STUFF. What stuff isn't that important. It can be refined in time. Just make her DO ANYTHING, with one quick exception...

13. Don't be a horndog. If you NEED to get laid on any given night, your chances of getting laid go down drastically. Working out is great in that it makes you dominant and more aggressive, but tires you out so you don't get that burning horny-got-to-do-something. Your body thinks you just killed a buffalo, so it cuts you some slack. Mighty nice of it.

So don't try to grind her. Don't try to make out with her. Et cetra. We're going to escalate smoothly, and I'll show you how momentarily. This will cost you some physicality (grinding, makeouts, etc.) and it will cost you some lays over the course of your life if you NEVER know when to go for it. But if you want to get laid in the next 30-60, easily, then lay off the instant gratification a bit.

14. Now, BECOME HER FRIEND, and SLATE HER INTO A FRIEND ROLE IN YOUR LIFE.

This will get you laid like crazy, if you can actually do it.

From now on, make your goal to become friends with girls. Treat like friends. Say the following lines liberally:

"You're such a good friend."
"It's nice to become friends with you."
"I feel like a better person around you."
"You bring out the best in me."
"I dig your friends - they're my kind of people."
"I'm glad you got along so well with my friends, that's really cool and important to me." (after she meets your friends, regardless of if she gets along with them or not)
"It's nice to have friends like you."
"I feel really comfortable around you."
"Oh, you've GOT to meet my friend (female name). You and her would get along FAMOUSLY."

Guys are afraid of winding up in LJBF land. They don't realize who gets put there - loser horndogs who try to escalate at the wrong times. Do girls who are hanging out with cool guys, who are super-chill and having lots of fun, tell the guy, "Let's just be friends" No! Never! LJBF is a direct result of shitty escalation. Trying to actually become her friend will never result in LJBF.

At the same time, treat her like a buddy. Call her sometimes just to call her. Shoot her random fun texts. Listen to her. Actually listen. Learn about her. Do fun stuff with her like you'd do with your friends. If you play video games with your friends, invite her to play video games with you. If you do jello shots with your friends, invite her to do jello shots with you and the gang. Do whatever you do with your friends - with her.

15. Whenever you're having fun with a girl (and you should always cut and run whenever you're not having fun for an extended period) your goal is to keep having fun for as long as logistically possible. So until one of you has something that stops you two from being together, keep hanging out. Don't try to leave at a high point (there are advantages to doing it, sometimes, but for now stick with spending as much good time with her as possible).

This doesn't mean stay in the same place with her. Move her around. It's ESPECIALLY important that if you're in a bar or nightclub that you leave BEFORE last call. There's times not to, but 9/10 times, especially in clubs, the vibe gets a buzzsaw taken to it when the lights come on. Leave before that happens, with her, to get pizza or hit a diner or an after-hours joint or party or whatever.

16. If and when logistics prohibit going further, THEN you can take contact information. But here's the deal - Numbers aren't worth ANYTHING. What you're looking to do is MEET THE GIRL again. So, you first suggest an activity to do together, then when she agrees, dictate how to get her contact info.

YOU decide, you're the man, show some balls and leadership and delegate. So don't say "How will we get a hold of each other?" because she's going to suggest stupid stuff like myspace at least 20% of the time. So say, "Wow I'm having a blast with you. (her: me too) A cool new exhibit just opened up at PSOne and I've been meaning to check it out. You should come with. (her: sounds fun) Cool, got a number I can reach you at?"

After you get her number, do this always: Here, I'm going to hit dial on my phone so my number shows up on your caller ID. Hit dial on your phone, but DO NOT RAISE IT TO YOUR EAR. Just hold it in front of you. She'll probably take her phone out of her purse, then make sure you can spell each other's names.

17. Text her before you ever call her.

A good text is fun, short, and doesn't ask for a response or ask a question. I've been texting a girl back and forth on and off for a week now and we haven't called each other yet. She texted me "hi hon. whats up".

I wrote back, "My ex gf just emailed me saying she misses me and theres a hole in her heart since i left. poor girl. dont know what to write. :\"

This is actually true in my life, and just an example. But yeah, she called after that, and that first thing she asked was, "Who broke up with who?" Nosy fucking girls. ("I broke up with her." "Why?" "I don't know." "What do you mean you don't know?!? You don't know why you broke up with a girl?" "Well... We do stuff for lots of reasons y'know? I guess... I thought we'd both be happier if we weren't together." - was the rest of the beginning of the conversation, for the curious)

Make sure you text her within 2 days of meeting her, tops. Same day or early next day are both good.

18. Send her texts once a day until she responds. Skip a day here and there. If she doesn't respond after 5-6 texts across 10 days, wait a week and text again.

19. Once she texts you back, keep it short and sweet some more. Don't answer her questions, write what you want to write. Make it vaguely relevant to the conversation. Or even not.

20. When you talk, talk as friends for a bit. Don't try to make plans until at least the second time you talk to her on the phone, unless she's really hurting to or asking about it.

21. When you make plans, it should fall into one of two categories - Laid back hanging out, or her tagging along with you. Remember Vinny's Three C's of Dating:

*Cheap: Inexpensive
*Convenient: For you, in terms of time and effort
*Conversation: Be able to converse during it

That pretty much rules out dinner and a movie... Make all your dates such that if she doesn't show up at all, it's no inconvenience and doesn't even suck.

Remember to maintain all the earlier stuff on your date. Be positive, treat her as a friend, make her do things and get compliance from her.

Now... you're in good shape.

At this point, you're a person that'll appeal to at least some women, you can meet women in social environments, and you know what to do on dates. You're being laid back, you're not pushy, you're very chill. Zenlike. In fact, you're being precisely Zen - In the moment. You're not focused on getting tail or acting like a loser who hasn't been laid since the 70's.

Here's how to escalate.

22. The first thing you need before you EVER try to escalate is what's called "incidental kino". There's, incidentally, three good kinds of kino - Playful, protective, and incidental. They're all fairly self-explanatory, and all have different good uses. But only one is necessary. This is - Incidental.

To be continued...

The Secrets of the Alpha Man program is THE map to finding yours. How to be sexual and turn her on.

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-Understanding women
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-when to kiss a women, her.
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-approach anxiety and how to overcome it.

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