Dating and Pick Up tips: 8 rules to boost confident and inner game

Dating and Pick Up tips: 8 rules to boost confident and inner game

A lot of guys have been asking me, what is going through your mind
as you go out to meet and pick up women? It's not really rocket
science, but there is a pattern of thinking that leads you to
success as opposed to failure.

Keep in mind that the winner in life will feel empowered and
excited by a challenge and a new situation. The loser, on the other
hand, will let his mind go through endless failure scenarios,
imagining each of them coming true. Only you can choose your focus.

Now, to give you a little detail, my internal process is simply this:

1) I'M INTERNALLY MOTIVATED. I use my own personalized mental
preparations. I no longer stand in front of a mirror and chant "You
are special!" the way some self-help guys would have you. It only
takes a quick minute to recollect past successes to put your mood
and beliefs in the frame of a babe magnet. Just take 60 seconds to
remember the times when you performed at your best, and you'll get
the mindset you need to be effective.

2) I CAN BE ALONE. I *emotionally* believe that being ALONE is a
worthy alternative to any relationship. Believing this will allow
you to walk away at your own discretion and not feel as if you are
the loser in any interaction, especially when a woman isn't
interested. I have a mantra that goes, "I'm better off alone than
with the wrong woman." When you don't mind being alone, there's no
pain of loss to avoid.

3) I'M RELAXED. Most guys don't truly understand the necessity of
shedding their nervous excitement around women. Sure, in some cases
it can be flattering to the woman you're talking with and it can
energize you, but it also communicates all the wrong things. I've
learned how to stay relaxed and comfortable in the most trying
situations with women. Even if I'm not doing well, I can still
smile inside with the knowledge that it's never the end of the
world. There's always another woman about to show up in my life.




















4) I KNOW MYSELF. I'm totally aware of my own defense mechanisms,
and what triggers them. By knowing how I'll react in situations and
being aware of them, I can then avoid any panic or nervousness. I
took the time to build my self-discipline and self-awareness to a
level where I no longer use the excuse "I just couldn't help
myself!" (Which is a common excuse among guys who can't be bothered
with introspection and building their self-control.)

5) I AM TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE. I take the responsibility for any
success or failure, and I'm aware of which situations are not under
my control. Knowing what is in your sphere of *influence* versus
your sphere of *control* is crucial if you're going to be happy in
life and manage your stress levels effectively.

Every guy out there needs to spend a little time figuring out his
own mental mechanisms and what drives him. Do not get into the game
of over-analysis, or any number of today's New Age, see-a-therapist
solutions. However, you should become adept at figuring out why you
did what you did - WITHOUT JUDGMENT. The closer you get to this
ideal, the faster your skills will improve.

6) I PUT THINGS IN THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE. A few misses with women
does not equate to total failure. In other words, I don't have to
win them ALL. Men have a secret desire to never make a mistake, and
this need is just another kind of insecurity. It's as though they
fall apart if just one woman didn't approve of them, or if they
were unable to get her phone number. Don't give women too much
importance.

7) I CONSTANTLY TALK AND INTERACT WITH WOMEN. Be around women as
much as you can. This is one thing that keeps your skills sharp,
even when your game isn't going the way you'd like. Just don't
become reliant on women for friendships, because then you slip back
into the "nice-guy" trap.

8) I SEEK QUALIFIED EXTERNAL FEEDBACK. If you have a friend with
GOOD judgment (and that's tough to come by) you need to latch on to
that and use it for all it's worth. They have a perspective that
you do not.

Once I've gotten my own thinking under my control, I can then start
to take my internal game EXTERNAL. This means that now that I've
gotten myself psychologically prepared, I need to take ACTION in
the real world to make things happen. We'll cover that next time...

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