Dating Tips for men: Use Your Natural Charisma To Get Girls!
I have a question for you:
Have you ever approached a woman, gotten a good
initial reaction, and ejected before it could go bad?
Why do we do this?
Are we so desperate to stay in the good mood that we
established by getting a decent initial reaction
from the chick, that we'd sacrifice a possible lay
just to take the SURE THING that we'll stay in a
good mood?
Are we really like that?
ANSWER: I think that psychologically, we all cope by
building a self-image for ourselves.
Teenagers will turn goth, or prep, or find cliques,
or get really into a pro sports team, or get really
into a certain type of music, or get involved with
drugs.
We did this stuff because we struggled to find our
own IDENTITY.
As we get older, we find our own identity and it's
typically more sophisticated than when we were
younger.
However, it's still how we GET BY psychologically.
So in a lot of ways, it's no better, but just further
developed.
Follow me here.
NOBODY likes to think of themselves as "bad with
women", because we NEED to feel desirable as a
FUNDAMENTAL part of our self-identity.
To feel undesirable sexually would imply MANY MANY
BAD THINGS about ourselves, including bad genetics,
bad personality, bad social intelligence, bad
upbringing, etc.
This is why if you tell guys you study seduction,
they freak out and get all pissy. Because to imply
that they would need HELP with their desirability is
to imply MANY bad things about them.
That's why guys who you can be cool to talk about
practically *anything* with, who are perfectly cool
guys when it comes to ANY other topic than this,
can't take it when you say "hey man check this stuff
out."
Now, a KEY thing to consider:
The main problem with how we control our state is
that when we approach a woman, our fear is massively
ILLOGICAL.
In fact, fear is built to prevent us from being HURT.
But ironically, our fear of approaching women
actually HURTS US, while actually approaching HELPS
US.
But yet, we feel fear.
Listen:
THE REASON THAT WE FEEL FEAR IS THAT IT IS OUR WAY
OF PSYCHOLOGICALLY PREVENTING OURSELVES FROM HAVING
A SELF-IMAGE CRASH.
Our ego can't stand the punishment.
We have a self-image that we've developed, and it
sure doesn't include being a guy who women SNUB.
But back to the main point.
In my opinion, a big key to state-control is
RECOGNITION of the fact that our fear is based on
the threat to our self image (or ego).
Then, in RECOGNITION of this phenomenon, we have to
rework our self-image NOT to include our
desirability to women.
Why?
Because we realize that practically NO guys, even
good looking guys, are actually able to pick up
random women on a consistent basis, in the way that
we're learning to do here.
And in recognition of this REALITY about the world,
we can accept that, statistically, practically
NOBODY is good with women, and FREE OURSELVES to do
mass approaches and learn the skillset.
We have to see things as they are.
Only then can we free ourselves of the threat to our
self-image, since we understand that there is no
correlation between our self-image and any
particular woman's reaction to us.
In fact, our self-image should even become BRUISED
when we chicken out from approaches, because that's
the real thing to be ashamed of, given that there's
so little correlation between our "desirability" and
our actual ability to pick-up new, random women.
Furthermore, having fear implies that we're STUPID,
because we aren't able to make the link between
REALITY and how it doesn't actually correspond to our
self-image in the way that we seem to NEED to delude
ourselves into thinking it does, in a desperate
attempt to preserve our emotional well-being.
So with this RE-ASSESSMENT of our self-image, we can
realize that fear of playing pickup can be easily,
INSTANTLY dealt with.
We can even apply this to other areas of our lives,
and at least make the effort to recognize the MANY
areas in which we delude ourselves, and to try to
gain self-awareness that will bring us closer to
equilibrium with our environments and the world that
we've been thrown into.
The more that we acknowledge where we've deluded
ourselves for the sole sake of preserving a FALSE
self-image, the more we can improve ourselves in the
REAL WORLD, and not just in our heads.
Why do this? Because on a subconscious level we know
that we're lying to ourselves, and it comes through
in the form of depression.
So by aspiring and genuinely attempting to recognize
this and to gain self knowledge, we begin to PURGE
ourselves of this BULLSHIT.
That's when we begin to emit an *aura* that people
are irresistably drawn to.
Notice how some people just rub you the wrong way,
but you can't explain why?
Notice there are some other guys that EVERYONE just
wants to be around?
Those guys are the ones who have come closer to this
equilibrium with the REAL WORLD and the one that
they perceive in THEIR MINDS.
And those are the guys who have potential to be
AMAZING PUAs, because they have ultimate state
control.
They are ultimately comfortable with THEMSELVES, and
it comes through with women.
That's the first step: psychologically liberating
yourself, giving yourself the permission to be
comfortable doing mass approaches and learn the
skill set.
From there, it's just a matter of getting the
interactions under your belt, seeing what works, and
discarding what doesn't until it becomes second
nature.
Unfortunately, this process can sometimes take
several YEARS.
That's several years of hunting and pecking in
relative darkness, trying to stumble upon the
patterns that exist in all social interactions.
Several years of brutal crash and burns.
Don't get me wrong, I went through this process
myself... and to be fair, I kind of enjoyed it. Then
again, several of my associates have suggested I'm a
closet masochist, so take that with a grain of salt.
The point is, it's a journey, not a destination.
The decision you have to make is this: do you want to
travel in an old, rusty station wagon or a brand-new
sports car?
The Secrets of the Alpha Man program is THE map to finding yours. How to be sexual and turn her on.
Carlos Xuma
Dating Advice for Men
Learn how to attract women:
Read moreLearn more: The Secrets of the Alpha Male
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